Let’s take a moment to talk about something we all interact with daily but rarely stop to truly examine: money. For many of us, money isn’t just a tool or a resource—it’s so much more than that. It’s tied to how we feel about ourselves, how we make decisions, and even how we measure success or security. But here’s the thing: most of us have a complicated, often unhealthy relationship with money, even if we don’t realise it. And that relationship? It impacts not just our finances but also our emotions, our stress levels, and our ability to truly live in the present.
When people think about “unhealthy relationships with money,” the first things that often come to mind are habits like gambling or overspending—behaviours where money seems to slip through your fingers before you even know where it went. But what we don’t talk about as much is the other side of the coin, where the attachment to money is so tight it feels like you can’t let go. It’s when money becomes less of a tool and more of a lifeline—a symbol of stability, safety, or control in a world that can feel unpredictable.
Maybe you know what this feels like. Maybe you’ve experienced the anxiety of watching your bank balance drop, even when you know you have enough to cover your needs. Maybe you’ve hesitated to spend on things that would bring you joy because you couldn’t shake the feeling that you might regret it later. Or maybe you find yourself constantly checking your savings, not because you’re in financial trouble but because having that number feels like the only way to feel safe. It’s not just about how much money you have—it’s about the emotional weight it carries.
For so many of us, this attachment to money is something we learned early on, often without even realising it. Think back to your childhood. What messages did you pick up about money? Maybe you grew up in a household where money was tight, and you watched your parents stretch every pound/dollar just to make ends meet. Maybe you heard things like, “We can’t afford that,” or, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Or maybe money wasn’t discussed at all, but you could feel the stress it caused, hovering in the background like an uninvited guest. When you’re young, you don’t always understand the nuances of what’s happening around you. But you do pick up on the emotions—the tension, the relief, the fear. And over time, those emotions can shape how you view money as an adult. If money was the only thing that felt reliable growing up, it’s no wonder it might feel like your lifeline now. But the problem is, when we place so much emotional weight on money, it can start to control us rather than the other way around.
It’s important to say this: having a strong attachment to money doesn’t mean you’re greedy or materialistic. Far from it. For many people, it’s not about wanting to buy more things—it’s about needing to feel safe, stable, and secure. Money becomes a way to ward off uncertainty, to create a sense of control in a world that doesn’t always offer it. But while money can provide security, it can’t fix everything. And when we rely on it too heavily for our emotional stability, it can start to cause more harm than good. The tricky part is that society often reinforces these unhealthy dynamics. We’re constantly bombarded with messages that tell us our worth is tied to our wealth, that success is measured by how much we have or how well we manage it. We’re told to save aggressively, spend wisely, and always be working toward “financial freedom.” And while financial responsibility is important, it can sometimes feel like an impossible standard to meet—one that leaves us feeling guilty, anxious, or like we’re never doing enough.
On the flip side, we’re also surrounded by temptations to spend. Advertisements, social media, and even peer pressure encourage us to buy, upgrade, and treat ourselves, often in ways that promise happiness or fulfillment. It’s a constant push and pull: spend or save, indulge or sacrifice. And somewhere in the middle of all that noise, it’s easy to lose sight of what money is really supposed to be—a tool to support our lives, not the other way around.
So where does that leave us? For many people, it leaves them feeling stuck. Stuck in a cycle of stress, fear, or overthinking when it comes to money. Stuck in patterns of saving too much or spending too freely, neither of which truly feels satisfying. And ultimately, stuck in a mindset where money takes up more mental and emotional space than it needs to. If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. And the good news is, it doesn’t have to stay that way.
For now, I want to leave you with this thought: your relationship with money doesn’t define you. It’s something that can be understood, explored, and, if needed, reimagined. Wherever you’re starting from, know that it’s okay to feel the way you feel. This isn’t about judgment or blame—it’s about understanding and growth. And you will figure out how to move toward a healthier, more balanced way of thinking about money and what it means to us.
So let’s dive in. Because money is just one part of the equation—and you deserve a life that feels full, meaningful, and free. Don't ever forget, you have got this!
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