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Writer's pictureJoanna Baars

You Have Everything, So Why Do You Feel So Alone?


Loneliness, money isn't everything


Let’s talk about success—the kind of success we’re all supposed to chase. It’s painted as the ultimate goal: the promotion, the big house, the recognition, the financial freedom, the ability to walk into any room and command respect. It’s what so many of us grow up believing will bring us happiness, security, and even love. And to be fair, success can bring some incredible things. It can open doors, create opportunities, and provide comforts that once seemed out of reach. But there’s a side of success that nobody really talks about, one that can feel deeply isolating and, at times, hollow.


The truth is, reaching the top—whether that means professional success, financial wealth, or achieving a lifelong dream—can be lonelier than anyone expects. It’s not something people warn you about because, from the outside, success looks like the dream. And for a while, it might even feel like it. But then comes the realisation that the very thing you’ve worked so hard for, the thing you’ve sacrificed so much for, might not feel as fulfiling as you thought it would. It can leave you wondering: why do I feel this way when I’ve achieved everything I set out to achieve?


There’s a unique kind of pressure that comes with chasing success. For some, it starts early—a relentless drive to excel in school, sports, or any other area where achievement is rewarded. Maybe it’s internal, fueled by a desire to prove something to yourself. Or maybe it’s external, shaped by family expectations, societal norms, or the messages we’re constantly bombarded with about what it means to “make it.” Either way, it can feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, pushing yourself harder and harder to meet a bar that always seems to rise the closer you get. The problem is that this drive often comes at a cost. When you’re so focused on succeeding, other parts of your life can start to fade into the background. Relationships might take a backseat. Self-care might become an afterthought. The things that once brought you joy might lose their spark as the pursuit of success takes centre stage. And when you finally reach the summit, it can be jarring to look around and realise that you feel more disconnected than ever.


feeling alone


One of the hardest parts of being at the top is the loneliness that often comes with it. It’s not something most people anticipate because success is supposed to bring people closer to you, right? You’re supposed to have more friends, more admiration, more support. But the reality is often the opposite. The higher you climb, the harder it can be to know who truly sees you and who is drawn to what you represent—money, status, opportunities. It’s exhausting to always wonder if people want to be in your life for who you are or for what you can offer. And that mistrust, whether it’s real or just a shadow in the back of your mind, can make it difficult to build or maintain genuine connections.


Then there’s the pressure to keep up appearances. Once you’ve achieved success, there’s often an unspoken expectation that you’ll keep it together, that you’ll always be “on,” that you won’t let anyone see the cracks in your armor. Vulnerability can feel like a luxury you can’t afford when people are looking up to you or depending on you. So you push through. You tell yourself to be grateful, to focus on the positives, to keep going. But inside, you might feel like you’re running on empty.


And let’s not forget the burnout. Success often demands more than just hard work; it demands a piece of you. Late nights, early mornings, sacrifices, compromises—all in the name of reaching that next milestone. And while those efforts might pay off in the short term, they can leave you emotionally and physically drained in the long run. Burnout doesn’t just steal your energy; it steals your joy. It makes even the things you once loved about your work or your achievements feel like a chore. And when you’re burnt out, it’s hard to find the capacity to connect with others or to care for yourself in the way you deserve.


So what happens when you’ve reached the top, but you feel like you’re standing there alone? What happens when the success you worked so hard for doesn’t feel like enough? It’s a question that can feel overwhelming, even scary. Because society tells us that success is supposed to be the answer, the thing that fixes everything. And when it’s not, it can leave you feeling lost, wondering what you’ve been chasing all this time. But here’s the thing: you’re not alone in feeling this way. So many people, whether they admit it or not, experience this kind of loneliness and emptiness at the top. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, and it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or failing to appreciate what you have. It simply means that success, as it’s often defined, doesn’t address the deeper, more human need for connection, purpose, and authenticity.


This isn’t to say that success is inherently bad or that it can’t bring fulfilment. It absolutely can. But fulfilment doesn’t come from the external markers of success alone—the accolades, the salary, the recognition. It comes from something deeper, something more personal. It comes from the relationships we nurture, the values we live by, and the sense of meaning we create for ourselves. And when those things are missing, no amount of success can fill the gap.


So what now? You’ve achieved so much—so why does it feel like something’s still missing? For now, I just want to say this: if you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. And it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling, even if it doesn’t match the picture-perfect image of success that the world expects. This is a space where we can be honest about the complexities of success, the highs and the lows, and everything in between. Because sometimes, the path to finding what truly matters starts with acknowledging what doesn’t.


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You are not an Island an you do not need to be alone.

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